Hello! Welcome to episode 77 of I’d Rather Stay In. This week, we are talking all about gratitude.

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Episode transcript

Megan
Welcome to I’d rather stay in with your hosts Megan Myers and Stephie Predmore. This week we’re chatting all about gratitude. Stay tuned.

Stephie
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Unknown Speaker
Hello, hi, Stephie

Stephie
What’s up? Megan?

Megan
Not too much as per usual around here around these parts around these parts. I

Stephie
I went to the coffee shop and worked for a little while today. And I have not done that. Since like 2019 it was nice. Ah, it was Yeah, it was nice. It was kind of bizarre, but it was really nice. I like saw someone I knew, which actually doesn’t happen as often as I would think it would. It’s not very often when I’m out and about that I see someone I know Alex sees people he knows all the fucking time. He’s like his dad and that way. I very rarely see people I know, but actually saw someone I knew and hadn’t seen in a really long time and got to say hi, like, give them a hug was nice.

Megan
I started going to the coffee shop on Sundays to do work. And it has been awesome. And I’m trying to figure out how to add that two more days.

Stephie
Yeah, it’s a good day for it too, because they tend to be a little quieter there on Sunday afternoons. So I

Megan
started Yeah, so I don’t go and actually go like around 11 Mm hmm. So like, between I go from like 11 till like, maybe two o’clock and

Stephie
after the like, early the like Sunday morning coffee. Mm hmm. People? Yeah, yeah.

Megan
Yeah, I need to go there more because I get I get so much done. Both times that I’ve gone. So now I’m like, I just need to, I just need to ditch on my family and go during the week, which is terrible parenting, but that’s

Stephie
fine. I had a shitload of other errands I had to run. So I didn’t stay very long. Because I had some other stuff that I really needed to get done. But I stayed long enough to like, get some stuff written. And I definitely was able to do that faster. Just like there was Yeah. And I don’t really often have people in my home bothering me when I’m trying to get worked on but like you do, but it was still it was just like a nice little change of scenery. And I know how my T and o took me back to took me back to the before times. It was it was nice. It was nice. Nice because I cuz I’m off work this week. So just revel in it. Yeah, I am reveling in it. You guys, I start a new job next week. As you listen to this, I will have just started my new job. But as we are recording, I start a new job next week. And I’m really excited about it. It is so exciting. I’m excited for you. I’m very excited. I’ll be building an influencer program at a brand that I really love and use and it’s a new thing for them to do influencer work and building programs is something I really love to do. And I’m excited also, can I just say that when you look at like when you go on LinkedIn and look at like the people page on their, their, whatever LinkedIn profile. It is just a sea of diverse faces. And I love that. I love it so much. I love it so much. Because when I was looking at, you know, potential, like some other job listings, I would go to websites and look at their like team pages or I’d look at their people page on LinkedIn. And it would just be like, white faces, white face, white faces, white faces, white faces. I was like, I don’t want that. I like that. So I really love that I’m going to be working in somewhere that has a sea of diverse faces.

Makes me happy.

Megan
Plus, working for a brand that you already enjoy. Joy’s got to be? Yeah, really great.

Stephie
Yeah, I’m super stoked. So that’s, that’s what’s new round of these parts. new job. I am taking the week to dig around a little bit. It’s great for it. I’m here for some might say, I have a lot of gratitude around it. Yes. Ah, I was really happy. I had something to say there. And I I was really hoping for a better response to that segue man. I was like, right there that I waited too long. And that I did have I lost it. Well, guys, in case it wasn’t clear enough from our awkwardness, we’re talking about gratitude this week.

Megan
We are talking about gratitude. And I think, well, lately, it’s been something that people have paid a little bit more attention to partially because of, you know, the whole first responders and everything like that. I think on a day to day basis. We don’t necessarily show a lot of gratitude.

Stephie
No, we don’t, but also like, so there’s like, I think there’s a funny balance, right? Like, there’s your we either are not showing enough gratitude, I think, in general, or we are being told that we have to show like all of the gratitude. So, for example, like I actually had a friend who was talking about this on their Instagram Stories not too long ago about how they were raised in the south. And they were raised to write thank you notes. And they were raised, that you write thank you notes for everything. Whether you’re like, actually thankful for it or not. You have to write a thank you note for everything. And that as an adult, she’s like, I still write thank you notes. But I just I write the thank you notes when I am genuinely grateful for something and not just because I’m supposed to write the thank you notes.

Megan
Yeah, because I think forced gratitude. Like that’s not real gratitude, if you’re forced to thank people for things,

Stephie
right. And so I think there’s either like, we are either feeling like it’s like forced gratitude, or we’re just sort of like forgetting to express gratitude for the things we really are thankful for.

Megan
Or I do think there’s another option here for all of us, extremely awkward introverts and that we kind of don’t know how to do it without feeling super weird. Yeah, I think there is that. I think that because I know I I know for myself that I wish I could express gratitude more often. Except I am a cold hearted bitch. A heart of stone. And it gets really awkward for me because I like want to thank people but also like, I don’t feel comfortable opening that door of feelings. Yes. I think gratitude heart sometimes

Stephie
I so Okay, so let’s talk about this. So not about the fact that you’re a cold hearted bitch. Let’s that’s another episode. That’s a different episode. Let’s talk about, um, because I think you know, how there’s like love languages. I feel like there’s like gratitude languages, or they like go hand in hand in some ways, with love languages, perhaps. Um, because I don’t think that, like, I think that we’re conditioned to believe that like, showing gratitude means that you are like a writing a thank you note or be like literally saying the words like, thank you so much for this thing that you did. I’m in like, a very just robotic way. But I think there’s lots of different ways that you can show gratitude based on your personality. And so like for you, I know with you, you very rarely will just like, straight up say like Stephie thank you for doing blah, blah, like sometimes you do, but I’m with you, I know that you are most likely going to do something for me. Like you often show your love and gratitude towards me for things that I have done by like reciprocating in some way. And so I think when you really know someone, like if you don’t know someone very well, you might not pick up on that. But I think when you know someone really well, like you have to kind of just be clued into how to do it. They show gratitude.

Megan
We know each other very well, though. Yes. So that’s diff. I feel like it’s very different for, for us, as opposed to, you know, if I’m trying to show gratitude to somebody I don’t know as well.

Stephie
Yes. The other thing, you know, I’ve had to remind myself about that at work. I mean, even like, recently, because I think sometimes, again, like sometimes I’m really good about just saying, like, thank you so much for doing x, y, z. But I am not always I, sometimes, as a manager, I’m not always the best about it, or I’m not always the best about just like, acknowledging when might my reports do something, just like above and beyond or something like that. And I can, I can see that they’ve worked really hard on that. And like, I, I feel gratitude for it. But I don’t always, I’m not always the best at vocalizing it and so that if you don’t know me very well, it could look like I am not grateful, or I don’t give a shit. And when I do, and so I’ve had to remind myself, even recently, like, especially depending on the personality types of the person that I’m working with, like, they may really need to hear, hey, I see that you went above and beyond on this project, thank you so much. That was really awesome of you, you did a great job. They may like literally need to hear that in order to feel valued and to feel like they want to do that again. So I’ve had to remind myself like, I need to, I need to just be better about vocalizing some of those things.

Megan
Yeah, I think we all do, I think it’s interesting, because, you know, I, I’m one of those people at work where I, I do want to be things if I have, you know, tried really hard if I’ve gone above and beyond, but for some reason, if I’m just doing whatever, like a menial task, that’s like, super easy, and it’s just very self explanatory. And I just get it like those kind of things. I’ll, I used to get thanked for those kinds of things all the time. And it drove me insane because I was like, this is just part of my job. And I’m just doing this and it’s not a big deal. Like I, I sort of got that people were appreciative of me doing it. But also I was like, I just am doing it. Like I just I don’t need you to take me it’s a line that I have. Yeah,

Stephie
I have also seen you be publicly thanked for something and almost die. It of just like crawling on a hole and covering yourself up like I have seen witnessed that with you. One other thing, I know they’d like to be thanked privately and that

Megan
well to bring it back around though to when you were saying how your friend was writing thank you notes just because you’re supposed to write thank you notes. A lot of time when you have a public Thank you. It kind of feels like that feels like the forced gratitude. Thank you feels like a forest gratitude. Thank you know if because it’s public, so therefore they kind of have to thank you. Right. And that’s partially why it feels really awkward. And also, I don’t like attention on myself. So

right by? Yeah, it’s just it is really I do think that is that’s an interest. That’s

Stephie
an interesting point that you make about that. And because now that I’m thinking about it, like you’re right, like, there is something so much more meaningful about someone coming to you privately, like later and saying like, thank you so much. Thank you so much for that. Thank you for your hard work, or thank you for whatever it is, instead of the like, Well, here we are in front of a bunch of people. So like, thanks.

Megan
Well, it’s a fine line, right? Because you also want to feel appreciated by your whole team. Right? So it’s nice to know that it’s nice to have your boss or whoever, like basically informed people that you they think that you did a good job, right, but it’s just a kind of like a weird balance of like, when do you bring in other people and then who are the right people to really be bringing to that situation? Mm hmm.

Stephie
Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. Like, how much of it is performative versus how much of it? I think Yeah, again, this is like something that I think about as a manager a lot like how much of it is just like performative versus how much of it is actually genuine and like my actually help the person like, infer During their career, like, I am more likely, if my direct report like is doing a really good job on something rather than like being, rather than just like talking about it in a room full of whom whomever I try to be, like, really specific about who I’m mentioning it to, and who I’m expressing that in front of as like, the stakeholders that matter and that person getting a raise, or getting a promotion, or just getting other opportunities, I don’t know, I always try to think like, Is this making them feel good? or making them feel weird? And is it performative? Is it to make myself look good? Or feel good? Or like, is it actually like, Can I also take this as a moment to show the people that have have some power in this like person’s future? Like are Am I also making sure that they know how grateful I am and how hard this person worked? Like, I think, I think there’s a few different things at play there. I agree. Because sometimes it is performative, and is more about making you feel good and making the person you’re thinking and feel good. And that’s really not a great look. We should probably avoid that look. So okay, so the other thing I kind of wanted to talk about here was, so I think I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, I am a big proponent of the concept that you can feel multiple, often conflicting feelings at once, sometimes about the same thing. And so I want to talk about like, the idea the concept that you can be thankful for something and not necessarily be thankful for everything about it, or all of the circumstances that brought you to that point, because I think that there’s a lot of in this sort of, like good vibes only kind of world that we often live in right now. I think that there can be a lot of this. I have gone through all of these trials and tribulations, but I’m so grateful for them, because they brought us the person I am today.

And

gross. Like, okay, like, All right. All right, let me give you an example. I am so grateful for my daughter, I am so grateful that I get to be her mother, that I get the honor and privilege of parenting her and raising her and seeing the adorable, wonderful, smart human being that she’s becoming every day, I could not express my gratitude enough for that. However, I’m really grateful for the infertility and the grief and the trauma, like the medical trauma that ultimately kind of had to happen for us in order for us to get to the point where we’re parenting our daughter, right? Like, I don’t, I don’t think that I have to be grateful for like, I’m so grateful for my infertility because without it, I don’t know if we would have adopted and then we would like but like, I can be so grateful for my daughter and also be like, fuck that infertility. Man, I really could have done without that, even though I know that one led to the other. I can go ahead.

Megan
Aside from aside from the image infertility, you also had multiple other struggles along the way to getting her rights and becoming her mother. Right. And those were also not awesome.

Stephie
No, yeah, there was like just a lot of hard things on the path to and I would do them all again. Absolutely. Like I want to be so clear. Absolutely no questions asked if I had to do them all again. I absolutely would. It led us to her every time. The end, but I’m also not okay. You’re like, Yes, that sounds like fun. Let’s do it. I’m so grateful for all of the trauma you re like, I think we could just maybe like not have to express gratitude for our traumas. And mascot is this like, Oh, I’m so grateful because it led me blablabla blablabla helps me grow as a person. And like I think I think I might be particularly sensitive to this because I grew up In the in the church where it is often so expected that you express some level of gratitude for like the trials and tribulations you’ve walked through, because they’re a part of your testimony bla bla bla bla. And so I think, you know, like, God’s hand was an all of it, like, whether you what’s what you want to believe or not like, I just, I, I know that never like vibed. Well, with me growing up, I was like, I don’t really want to have to be grateful for the trauma. Thank you. So I think that could be really damaging to people. Like there are people who really do struggle with, I had all this trauma, like sometimes really, really, really terrible things. And I’m expected to act grateful for it, because it’s all part of my testimony, I think that expectation can be so damaging. And we need to break from that. I think it’s a lot to hold to have to hold on to, as well, much to hold on to it so much to hold on to. So I think, I don’t know, I think that we need to like, learn how to how to separate those two things and to sit in more of a space where we say like, you can feel gratitude for where you’re at in your life, without having to feel gratitude for all the trauma that happened, that maybe had a hand in where you are now.

Megan
Mm hmm. So yeah, you might have you might have ended up in really great point D, but points, B and C from a might have been really horrible. Right? Right doesn’t mean that you need to negate your horrible experience.

Stephie
Right? Exactly. Yeah, I just, and I don’t know, I just I feel like as humans, I talked to so many people that they’ve been told like, well, you, you’re you know, you’re you are happy you all in unhappy and we’re positive vibes only blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they just, they forget that like, it’s, it’s okay to have some conflicting feelings. They’re like, even I’ve talked to like, I have some friends, for example, who really struggled to get pregnant, they got pregnant and their pregnancies were really, really, really, really hard. Like, they were so sick and felt so horrible. And I would talk to them because infertility friends, and they would be like, Hi, I’m really struggling because I feel horrible. But also, I know, like, I should just be so thankful and grateful that I’m pregnant. Those two things don’t have to. Like, those aren’t mutually exclusive. They can coexist, right? And I can turn on every time. Like, oh, I’m like, you can be so grateful that you’re pregnant, and you’re about to become a parent, and that you get this experience and all of those wonderful things and also feel like shit, and kind of want it to be over.

Yeah. Oh, I

can.

Megan
pregnancy is so rough as it is to try to be hiding those feelings. Yeah, it’s it’s a rough ride. You guys like you’re kind of lucky in a way that you did not have to go through it.

Stephie
I say that all the time. I say all the time. Anytime one of my pregnant friends is like, Oh my god, I just had this experience or this like symptom. And I’m like, you know what, maybe maybe that infertility wasn’t so bad. Maybe that’s the part of the infertility. I can be grateful for,

Megan
right? barfing every day for 10 weeks, you can be grateful for not having that. It’s totally fine. One little bit. Yeah.

Stephie
Yeah. Yeah. So I don’t know I just in doing this episode, like, obviously wanted to talk about how we do or do not say thank you, and all of those things, but also just really wanted to acknowledge that, like, if you’re really going through it, don’t let anybody have to tell you. Like, don’t let Don’t let anybody tell you that you have to feel grateful for it because it’s going to shape you into who you become. Or if you’ve come out of a trauma, don’t let anybody, like, try to tell you that you have to feel grateful for it if you don’t, because you don’t. So there’s that.

Megan
I know that I definitely need to practice gratitude in general in my day to day life. Especially when it comes to my kids. Ooh, that So good because because I’m trying to teach them you know, like you’re trying to give them a foundation for life and like, helping them figure things out and everything. And if you have kids out there, you know what, sometimes it’s a struggle to show your gratitude for the thing that you have asked them to do 15 times.

Stephie
And especially, and it goes from reverse to because kids don’t show gratitude toward their parents in general. And I feel like, they get to be like, in their 20s. And they have their first apartment, and they realize how fucking much their parents did for them. And then they come back, and they’re like, I’m so thankful that I’m sorry. I was thankful when I was living under your roof. Right?

Megan
Then I realize everything that my parents did and bought for me and Right, yeah. Look, the bills they paid 10 years from now, when, when Reese realizes all of the things that we do,

Stephie
I’ll call me when that when he comes crawling back, because I’ll pop some popcorn, and I think he’s probably is gonna live in our basement.

Megan
We’re sure I mean, he might go to school here. So if he does, then it would make sense for him to live in our basement. But yes, but otherwise. But it is hard. It’s a struggle, because you want them to do the thing that you’re asking them to do. So giving people gratitude is good reinforcement, right for people to want to do things, especially kids who, until they get to a certain age, at least, they generally love being helpful. But it’s just kind of it’s definitely something that it’s like a muscle, you have to work at it every single day. Yeah, to be able to express that to him and not have it. Even if it with your kids, it might be a little bit more performative. However, they’re listening, right? They’re always listening.

Stephie
That’s because it’s more of a it is really more of a teaching opportunity. Yes. Yeah. I think, and I think there are so many levels to that. Like, I think you like you are showing your gratitude to them. And I think that that’s really important for them to see like, hey, my parents see me and they see what I’m doing. And not, not just like a he sees you when you’re sleeping is creepy Santa Claus away, but like, they see me as a person, kind of a thing. Like you’re showing your gratitude your gratitude to your kids, you’re showing them that they need to say thank you, for things like they are showing them that they need to show gratitude. But also, like, if you in front of them, like thank other people, or you thank them for something that seems small, but was maybe unusual for them to do or, you know, whatever it is, like you’re also showing them all of the places in their life where there are small moments of gratitude. Like, there’s there’s lots of levels to showing your kids what, what it means to say thank you for all the everyday things and also like, what true gratitude can really look like.

Megan
Also, I think it’s important when you are like say you’re out in the world. This is something that I do with my kids all the time when I’m out at restaurants or to shop or something. I definitely make an extra point to thank the people that work there. Oh,

Stephie
that’s a great place to show your kids gratitude.

Megan
Yeah, it’s not just because you know, depending on where you are, that might be working a really crappy job, but like, it’s nice to be thanked during the day. And so I think it’s letting them know, when your kids know that you should be showing appreciation for these people that are bringing you your food or raising you up at a store or something like that. It’s kind of just like a really food like it’s a really basic level of decency.

Stephie
Yes, teach to be friendly to people, how to be friendly to people, and also how to be polite to service staff. Like any sort of service worker, yes. Because so often they’re seen as a low man on the totem pole and like well, they’re being paid to do that for me. Like There’s so much of that attitude, I think less since the pandemic because we all really wanted to be able to go to the grocery store, and they were the people that made that possible for us. But there can be such an attitude such like a caring attitude about service workers, and just teaching your kids like, whether you’re paying for something or not, does not make you better than somebody else. And you should still make sure that they know you’re grateful. Yeah. 100% agree with the TLDR of that is teach your kids how not to be a dick to the waiters or the cashiers, or whomever? Oh, my God. Yeah. Don’t be a dick. Don’t be a TLDR. Don’t be with IQ.

Megan
It was kind of funny the other day, though, because we took, we would take the kids out for dinner. And it’s taken a while for Reese to feel comfortable ordering for himself at a restaurant. And for whatever reason, I’m not really sure what the reason is. But he ordered for himself this time. And he, I said something about it. And he was like, Yeah, I stopped feeling weird about it. Once I realized that all I had to do was tell them what I wanted. And then say thank you. And I was like, Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. So like little just little life lessons is just really funny on the day to day, but I always I always, I feel like when I actually when I go to places, and I start thanking the service, I feel like I thank them too much. I will thank them every single time they come to the table and bring water Yes. And they bring water or like they take the menus away, or, like literally anything, I will think.

Stephie
Yeah. And like, happy in bed, the service person having been the waitress, you get better service. You are nice. So be nice to your service staff, because they’re going to be more attentive to you and you are going to get your water glass filled more often.

Megan
Yeah, I’m thinking the people at the grocery store. I mean, I I also engage them when they are like, how are you? I’m like, have a whole conversation with them. Which you guys, I don’t like having conversations with people. I don’t know. I was telling Stephie the other day about how multiple people at the farmers market were trying to have conversations with me. And it was like eight in the morning and I could not handle it.

Stephie
However, I that is still so hysterical to me that every single person you interacted with at the farmers market was like, you know what this lady, she looks like she wants to have a full conversation with she’s at the farmers market at ADM. She’s bright eyed, bushy tailed lady, and she wants to be cheerful. And happy with me together in the rain.

Megan
It wasn’t raining yet I got home before it rained. Oh my god. But even for somebody like me, like, I can manage the small talk in that kind of situation to help the people feel like they’re appreciated. Yeah. And that they’re not just a drone, scanning my groceries? Mm hmm.

Stephie
Yeah, absolutely. So I think that there’s lots of opportunities for all of us whether we have kids or not just model that kind of gratitude to the assholes around us. Hopefully those assholes are not our kids. That’s what we’re trying. We’re trying. That’s what we’re trying to prevent. Yeah, no, I love that you brought up demonstrating gratitude to your kids, because I think that that is that is really important. And they don’t have to be your kids, either guys. They’re a niece or nephew. Whatever. a neighbor’s kid, a friend’s kid that you interact with a lot. You can still like model those things.

Megan
I just find it works so much better than being the person who’s always who is always like now say thank you. Mm hmm. Which I still have to do sometimes with my kids because they don’t understand compliments, which I have no idea where they would get that from. But I still have to explain like now you say thank you and they’re like, okay, because usually someone will say something to them and they’ll say okay, I’m like that. Yes, I understand. I get it. witnessed this a few times. But I think also it helps. You know, it helps when you, you mentioned the thank you note saying like, maybe your family does. thank you notes. My family does not do thank you notes. Partially because I’m really terrible at remembering to do them. Yes. And so I’m not really going to be the one that prompts the kids to do them. Right. And my husband is definitely not. Right. So having to find other ways are as important, I think.

Stephie
Yeah. Yeah, I think I think there is an you know, whatever that looks like for you. Yeah, whatever that looks like for that other person. Maybe it’s baking them cookies. dropping them off. Like, for some people, that’s a great way to say thank you for something, or I’m appreciative of you, or for some people, they would be like, they would be super grateful to get those cookies. So they’re like, Yes, please. I would rather have that than like, a note that you felt weird about writing. So that I feel weird about getting I would definitely take cookies. Totally as gratitude, though. I do that a lot. I beg for people a lot. Like if they’ve done something. You know, like I was in a pension, they watch the baby or I don’t know, whatever it is, like, I mean, I by that logic, I owe you approximately 13,000 cookies. But like, I don’t know, I just all if I’m baking something or like fine, I made zucchini bread the other day, and it made two batches. And I took a loaf across the street to our neighbor, because a She’s my friend and I like her. But also she had just like, watched Eden the other day when I needed somebody to watch her. And so I gave her some zucchini bread.

Megan
I think that’s a better way to say thank you then like, a note card to like, what are you going to do with a no card?

Stephie
You feel really nice. Reading the note card, and then that takes 20 seconds. But if I make you a loaf of zucchini bread, you can feel good for days.

Megan
That’s true. What happens when you get caught in a gratitude cycle though? So your friend watch Ed and so to think her You made her zucchini bread, but now your friend is gonna be like oschmann zucchini bread and it was really good. And now I need to thank her.

Stephie
So then she’ll have me across the street for a glass of wine and give a mouse a cookie. What? Exactly? I don’t know. I mean, as long as there’s an exchange of food happening each time kind of done with it. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it’s fine. Like, if that’s the kind of circle I can’t get out of that I’m here for it.

Megan
You’re like in a weird email chain. I think we’ve all been in this weird email. Or like you’re just constantly thanking each other like nothing else has progressed in the conversation. It’s just multiple things.

Yes. Thank you for this. Oh, you’re welcome. Thank you. Thanks that no thank you hang up. No, you hang up. That is kind of what it feels like. It really equivalent of Yeah. And then if you’re like the the third party that’s trapped on the chain,

Stephie
oh my god, and you keep getting cc every time and you’re like, if these fuckers do not stop. I swear to God. Because then you have to file the email or delete the email every time Oh, man, I never delete emails. Well, I do delete emails. Let me be clear, I delete spam emails. But like for work stuff, I archive everything I like have a very specific filing system. And so when it pops up, and then I have to like actually go put it back in the folder because it’s read in Gmail, like so annoying. I hate it. So annoying. The worst? Okay, so one last thing.

Um,

I think this kind of goes, this goes a little bit with what we were talking about earlier of like, you don’t have to be grateful for everything. How do you feel about like, where people will give advice of like, before bed, write down 10 things you’re grateful for? How does How do you feel about that stuff.

Megan
I think that if you are trying to, you know, maybe be more present in your life, or if you’re having a hard time and that’s some That helps you, I can go for it. However, I think for some people, it could cause them to spiral. Especially if it you know, if it’s a certain number that they are supposed to get to, and they can’t. Yeah. Or if they just can’t, like, if it’s just a really shitty day, sometimes you don’t feel grateful for anything. Right, and that’s fine, too. Right? Um, I think it’s I think, on the one hand, I think it’s a good practice of like, remembering the good things that you do have. But I also worry that it promotes that same sort of like a good vibes only. Right Thing without further reflection. Right? Yeah, I

Stephie
agree with that. I. Yeah, I don’t like the like, Oh, we have to write down a certain number every single day bla bla bla bla, for all the reasons you just you just mentioned. And, yeah, I think it could cause people to spiral a little, a lot of, like negative ways. But I actually had a therapist, my new therapist recently, she basically, like kind of reminded me that gratitude, much like you were just saying, if it can, like help you further reflect on your life, like, thinking about things that you’re grateful for can be a good. Just a good practice. Whether you’re like meditating you just like a good mindfulness practice. And that I thought, would think that was a really good reminder. That mindfulness is not always just like, I’m going to sit here, and I’m going to not think about anything, my brain will be blank, because for so many of us, it’s just not going to happen. But like, starting to think about, like lists of things that you’re grateful for, even if they seem really small and like insignificant, that that can just be a good part of that mindfulness practice that maybe you’re trying to implement.

Megan
Yeah, I think if I were to do it, I would pair it along with what Corey was talking about last week was just basic journaling. Yeah, and like getting that all out on paper instead of a list. Because I know that if you’re thinking of those, if you’re being mindful of thinking about things you’re grateful for, you’re gonna think of, you know, the reasons why you’re grateful, you’re gonna think of, you know, memories or whatever tied to those things. And you might, you know, feel feel the bug to start writing a lot of things down. Yeah. I think I mean, if it’s part of journaling, I think it’s definitely a good idea.

Stephie
There you go, guys. There’s your permission. But don’t feel forced. Yeah. It’s a good idea. You’re sure permission to do it, but don’t make it feel like a forced homework project.

Megan
Yeah, yeah. I don’t like fourth tobert projects when it comes to my feelings.

What’s bringing us joy?

Stephie
No. No, thank you. So Megan, Yes, ma’am. not to have any forced gratitude. But what’s bringing us joy this week?

Megan
Well, today, my older son and I went to go see black widow. How did you like it? I liked it a lot. I was I was happy with it. Um, hope was, I don’t remember what it was supposed to come out last year last spring. I don’t 1000 years ago. So I feel like we’re waiting forever for this movie. And I was very happy with it. So it was good. It was I guess it’s the second movie that I have seen the theater now since things have opened. But my son had not gone to the movies since January of 2020. While especially when you’re 13 It’s a long time because we used to go to the movies a lot like all the time just because it was close to our house and we would go and it was cheap. And especially during the summer we would go a lot. So it was nice. Just the two of us went and the seats at our movie theater recliners. So it was nice and comfy. Got some popcorn he got a slushy. Oh my gosh, did he just have a ball? He was so happy to get a slushy. He’s probably sad. I didn’t get let him have the giant size but that’s fine. He was like they were like, do you want 24 or 32 outs and like 24 is fine. It’s crazy.

Core of slushie 24 ounces is huge. Anyway, it’s like I know it’s a long movie, but come on.

But we went to the movie, it was great. There was only like four other people there. Because it’s Tuesday. But pro tip you guys, Tuesdays are always cheaper at the movie theater. It’s like five bucks. Maybe it’s different from work in different locations. But it’s $5 all day long.

Stephie
Oh my gosh. That’s so amazing. You could see, like two and a half movies, maybe even three movies for the price of Yes. One normal ticket.

Unknown Speaker
Yeah, exactly.

Megan
So we always try to go on Tuesdays because it’s so much cheaper, and that we spend all the money on snacks. Anyway, so it’s fine. And then we went and had lunch together. So it was nice. I don’t really get to spend a lot of time with him because he’s a teenager and who sleeps till noon and wants to play video games and wants to play video games all the time. doesn’t care about mom anymore, so it’s good.

Stephie
Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah, I really liked it. We watched it on Disney plus on Sunday. I really liked Black Widow. I I met a couple Facebook groups and white men are shitting on it. And I’m like,

Megan
as I’m not surprised, so no, we. Nope. But no, I really liked it. Yeah, we both we both really enjoyed David hardboard performance. Yes, he was funny.

Stephie
Last time we saw like a we saw anything with him and stranger things he was like in Russia.

Yeah, that’s true.

I bet he’s Russian in this movie. I was like, Stranger Things in the Marvel Universe.

Megan
Yeah. It was interesting to think about because there’s an ad credit scene. That makes more sense if you have seen Falcon and Winter Soldier, the TV show on Disney plus. But also, it was interesting because they introduced this character and when you think about Black Widow supposed to come out like over a year ago. Like oh, actually should have met that person. A long time ago. Long

Unknown Speaker
time ago. Interesting. So yeah, first amazing. I love her character. Have you watched Falcon and Winter Soldier? Yeah, I have not. We just talked about that. You know, I haven’t watched I haven’t watched any of the Disney plus. Marvel stuff. I was thinking about watching Loki.

Megan
It’s good. Yeah, we have seen all of them. I recommend them i think i think they’re trying to tie them all into the movies and the movies tied to them so you’re gonna have to watch him now

Stephie
Yeah, I cuz I was getting the sense that that’s kind of that was kind of what was happening. They were like adding them into like the full cinematic universe basically. But yeah, I because I have never watched all Marvel movies. I’ve watched like a lot all the Avengers couple of the Thor’s I’ve watched a couple Captain America’s but I haven’t like sat and watched them all. So occasionally there will be like, plot things where I’m like, I think that’s referring to something I haven’t seen. I don’t know who this person is. I’m just gonna roll with it. So the gaps of knowledge are like, oh, who the fuck that is. And then I end up like on Google and the middle while I’m watching it, like trying to fill in the like, Who’s this character? What’s their superpower? How do they connect? Help me Google help me.

Megan
It’s fine. I have seen all of them. And I’m there still some things that pop up where? I don’t know what they’re talking about. And they still have to google it because then it turns out to just like some random person that they have only had in a comic books, and they introduced them in the movies yet, but they put them in there like you’re supposed to know about them. Because they’ll do so. Yeah. Yeah. You’re not alone. Even though you haven’t invested 40 hours of your life and you’re watching the movies.

Stephie
I do want to do that at some point. I because I do enjoy most Marvel movies. But I just it just doesn’t happen. So But anyway, what about you what’s bringing you joy? Um, earlier this evening. So we got Ed a little learning tower thingy for the kitchen. So like you pulled up the kitchen counter and you she can stand in it and it’s got the little things which is fall off stepstool blah, blah, blah anyway. So we have that at the end of the kitchen counter. And sometimes I’ll plop her in it like especially if I’m prepping dinner or doing something in the kitchen while she needs to be eating dinner. I’ll plop her in it and she’ll eat her dinner or whatever, or I’ll pop her in it and she has like there’s a small mixing bowl. And like there’s a little Eden sized spatula that we have installed give her those and like I’ve shown her how to stir and she like helps or whatever. So tonight while she was eating dinner, she was in there because I was working in the kitchen. And she like had her meal. And then she like pointed at our mixing bowl like she wanted her mixing bowl. So I gave her her mixing bowl. And then she proceeded to like, take a bite of her dinner, and then she’d like put a bite in the mixing bowl and grab her spatula and stir it around. And then she’d move it back. And she was just like cooking up a little storm. And it made me so happy because she, I mean, I know she’s like mimicking a lot of the stuff she sees Alex and I do but just like she asked for her mixing bowl so she could cook. She’s just so cute. It was so much fun. She’s very busy little girl these days. Yes. I had to drop something off at the UPS Store earlier. And there was a mom and a grandma, and then like a teeny little baby in there. And the the mom was checking out and the grandma was sitting with the little car seat. And I walked in and I was like, oh my god. So she, oh my god, I missed that phase. And the grandma was like, Yeah, she just doesn’t go anywhere. Yeah, that’s a lot of what I miss about that face. Just keep them in the sea. And they just lay there. They just lay there or they’ll like you lay them on your chest and they’ll just sleep for hours and not move. It’s really amazing. So, but know that she is she is incredibly busy doing so many things.

Megan
So she’s really fun right now to it’s like all of her all of her words that are popping out. It’s hilarious.

Stephie
hurt. Yeah. This week we added Oh, oh, that was that was more fun than when we added no a few weeks ago. Yes. Although sometimes Yes. It is kind of funny though, because sometimes I’ll ask for a Cassiopeia economic kiss. And she go, No. She like thinks, you know,

Megan
like, you’re like, well, you’re in charge of your own body. So glad that you are aware of that.

Stephie
And I was like, okay, but it’s also just hilarious because she does think about it sometimes. Ed, Can I have a kiss? No. Okay. All right now, Mama.

So she’s, she’s funny.

Next week’s episode

Megan
Well, next week, we are having a repeat guest, our friend, Chloe to talk about emergency funds.

Stephie
Yeah, we loved having her on the first time. And so she’s gonna come back and talk to us about what a lot of people think are sort of that building block of financial freedom. So until then, leave us a review on Apple podcasts and listen to us on your favorite platform. You can also follow us on social media at IRSIpodcast or send us an email at idratherstayinpodcast@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from our listeners. Bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai