Hello! Welcome to episode 79 of I’d Rather Stay In. This week, we’re airing our many grievances against bras and the bra industry.

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Episode transcript

Megan
Welcome to I’d rather stay in with your hosts Megan Myers and Stephie Predmore. This week we are chatting about bras. So stay tuned.

Stephie
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Hello,

Megan
hello Stephie what’s out? I had a vision of how I was going to die today.

Stephie
Oh, tell me more.

Megan
I was just uh, you know, in the bathroom, as you have to do multiple times a day. And I was pulling my pants up and my pants were very long and I kind of tripped. As I was playing them up, and I’m like, this is how I’m gonna die. I’m gonna trip on my pants. make myself fall crack my head on the countertop. And I will die alone in my bathroom.

Stephie
With my pants. Not up around my butt.

Megan
My pay I mean, yeah, yes. Yep.

Stephie
I had a real panic moment. In a similar fashion this weekend. So for listeners, I work a couple Saturdays a month at our friend’s restaurant. And I worked this last Saturday and it was very hot outside. And the air conditioner was kind of on the fritz at the restaurant. And so it was like fine for customers. But for all of us staff who were like, either in the kitchen the whole time or like I work Front of House, I’m in and out of the kitchen and I’m running around. It was very hot and sweaty. And at one point, it slowed down a little bit. And I had pee and I went to go pee and I absolutely had a Ross from friends leather pants moment, trying to pull my jeans back up because they were like soaking wet. And I was like, oh my god. Oh my god. Are they gonna go? Are they gonna? Can I can I do it? Is it gonna happen? Am I gonna be stuck without my pants and stuck in this restaurant bathroom? Thankfully, I was able to get them up and like back on, but I absolutely had a panic moment about it.

Megan
Oh, yeah. It’s like when you go like if you go running and get all sweaty or hiking or like you’re in a one piece swimsuit, and then you decide you have to go to the bathroom and you’re like, Is it worth it? Is it worth going to the bathroom because I might not be able to get my clothes back off.

Stephie
I definitely because I have a one piece swimsuit and that I wear sometimes. And I have gotten really good at pulling the crotch to the side so I can pee. Kill it is a skill because yeah, getting it like off and back on what it’s wet. It’s just it’s not gonna happen. I’m glad that we both had some like panic induced. It’s relating to our pants around our ankles lately.

Megan
I mean, you know, we keep the classy around here.

Stephie
We’re like the classiest people I know.

Megan
I mean, and also, we’re going to talk about underwear anyway, so

Stephie
I might as well get things going. Honestly, it’s it all scans. Yeah. Cuz this talk about bras you guys we’re we got a we’ve got a

Unknown Speaker
lot to say. So I actually did some research. for this episode. I

Stephie
love it when you do some meghann research.

Megan
I figured we could fill the whole hour with just ranting which is very valid. But also, I thought it’d be interesting to take a little bit of a look at bras and history of bras and things like that. Let’s do it. Tell me about the history of bras. Well, first of all, did you know that bras actually have kind of been around in some form since the 14th century BC?

Stephie
What?

Megan
Yeah, so there’s art depicted with like women wearing bra like, clothing from way back then.

Stephie
No, no, thank you.

Megan
There’s nothing. There’s nothing that seems to be depicted necessarily past like there’s art and There’s also been I feel like there’s been like bra kind of breastplate armor situations. But it’s been unclear whether those have been, you know, warrior things or like for people to just wear. Interesting. Yeah. But we haven’t I think there’s a big gap basically since then until from what we mainly know as like

Unknown Speaker
the

Megan
beginning of the end for women, which is corsetry.

Stephie
Yeah,

Megan
so we’re just starts about the 16th century that was like the main form of support, as they would say, I you know, to enhance the boobs make you look feminine, make your waist look really tiny, but also make your hips look big, because you got to have big hips to have the baby’s got to have those childbearing hips. They actually had ones they, they had not just the long ones, but they had short ones too, which I didn’t know. And then they also had like multiple pieces. Of course, it’s like the, the waist part would be separate from the top part.

Stephie
That sounds extra terrible. I know. Like I think about how hard it is just to get in a normal bra to be

Megan
well just to be Farish. Most of people that wore corsets had multiple servants to help them get dressed every day. I mean this or at least you know, your mother or your sister or, you know, other people to help you take care of it. This is true. If you were alone, I don’t know that you would have any bother to wear a corset, right?

Stephie
So like yeah, there’s no way you could have gotten it on. Yeah.

Megan
So I’m not sure what women who like you know if their mothers died and they were the only girl and I don’t know what they did.

Stephie
I you know what I think about this a lot when I watch Outlander. I definitely have Okay, I I have thought about this with Outlander because so she starts off in the what 40s.

Megan
And yes, or it’s just like right after World War Two.

Stephie
Yeah. So I guess like that still would have been the era of wearing girdles, potentially. But then she ends up back in like 70 that like the 1740s or something like that, right. And so she’s wearing just like go into wear a corset. I just got to say, I have thought I have watched all of the seasons of Outlander that are on Netflix. So I’ve had a lot of episodes to think about this. She must have loved Jamie a whole lot to willingly stay and then go back to again, the era of wearing corsets when she could have gone back to the 40s and not have had to wear a corset. Right? Like

Megan
it’s a lot to give up. It’s

Stephie
like she must have really loved him. Anyway, that’s my that’s just my little sidebar about how much I thought about corsets and wearing them. Well, yeah,

Megan
I think mostly, most of modern women, their experience with courses has been like, generally like your wedding dress.

Stephie
Uh huh.

Megan
That’s also like, a lot of those have like that same corset. bonine. And also some of them just actually our courses.

Stephie
Yeah, my dad. Mine had a boning that had that the course at least back and I had to be laced in Yeah, I had to be laced in my mom was the only one who like knew how to do it. into it. And then she like, before we left our wedding reception, she had to, like, tell my husband how to get me out of the dress without destroying it. So that was it was definitely a thing. And I definitely got out of it. I was like, oh, okay, cool. I did love that dress, but I was relieved to be out of it at the end of the evening.

Megan
I like breathing. It’s fine. So in about the Victorian era, there was kind of the rise of modern doctors somewhat. And so people decided, hey, you know, actually we’re kind of worried about people wearing corsets because a it’s hard to breathe. And we’re not quite sure like what we’re doing to the body down there like messing squeezing everything really close. So there was these health concerns developing and then there was feminist reform movement that was starting. And the feminist movement was realizing that, hey, we’re in a course it makes it like really hard to be active and go around town. And now that women were starting to be, you know, more in the workforce a little bit and like starting to be outside the home more often. Sure. They’re just like, couldn’t be wearing courses because they were doing more than just entertaining people for afternoon tea. Yeah,

Stephie
they’re doing more than sitting around eating tea and biscuits.

Unknown Speaker
Yeah.

Megan
So there were actually lots of different people who were trying to come up with a bra. But especially a woman who is recognized as having the first patent on the modern bra. Her name is her mind. It’s like Herminie but it’s not it’s her. I don’t know how to say it. I’m apologize to the cuddle

Stephie
here looks like maybe her mining her her mini or mini her mini something

Megan
her mini cuddle Anyway, I’m not sure. Again, apologize. But she has a patent for the first modern bra from 1889. This does not really look like what we know is a bra but it’s you know, got sort of bra like situations happening. And then, about four years later, and Marie tussock in the United States came up with one that has separate pockets for each boob. So like a cup, basically. And it has pockets. Yes, the pockets for your boobs, which was above a metal supporting plate and closures with Hook an eye. And the metal supporting plate is basically the precursor of the underwire. Which wire who I was telling you. I was I was going about my day. And I was like, Oh, this feels weird. In my brought like, did I drop a cracker down there or something because also happened. I might have dropped food down my bra. Who knows? It turns out, there was a hole in my bra and the underwear was stabbing me all day

Stephie
long. The worst. I remember the first time that happened to me I was in high, I actually might have still been a junior high or high school and a church youth group trip. And on we were in the van or whatever. And I remember I was sitting next to my childhood best friend. And I was like this under like, I literally had to have her like, like shield me while I reached in and pulled out the underwire from the bra because it was like stabbing me and it hurt so bad.

Megan
I was very happy to throw that Broadway

Stephie
be gone

Unknown Speaker
away.

Megan
Otherwise, they’re horrible. Um, so bras are starting to catch on a little bit. And then World War One happens. Which means metal shortages and courses were made with a bunch of metal. Yeah, so women were encouraged basically by the government to move away from courses and to modern bras instead. And then, in the 1930s lots of companies came around designing improvements, they came up with cup sizing, all sorts of options for bras. There’s lots of different styles. I think brands like start to get, you know, more attention in I was I you know, like glamour type shots and movie stars, you know, like those pointy bra situations?

Stephie
Uh huh. But we had the guys like pinup girl style. Yeah, yep.

Megan
And then in the 1940s for like, you know, I can’t remember this is during the war or just after it but you know, women were in the workforce there again, too. And a lot of companies because they had an influx of women decided to have dress codes. And they came up with these special bras that were supposed to, in theory protect them. They claimed from like, projectiles or whatever because they were working with equipment. And also because braas gave a notice of good taste, anatomical support and morale.

Stephie
No, absolutely not.

Megan
I isn’t that disgusting. That is so gross. You have to wear a bra Because it’s good for morale. I hope Absolutely not. Yeah, I don’t understand. But ever since the 1940s, companies have been working more and more to improve bras. And, I guess, kind of encouraged us to own as many bras as possible. I feel like

Stephie
and

Megan
I don’t really feel like we’ve quite hit on it, there’s, you know, there’s some,

Stephie
like, I feel like improve goes in air quotes,

Megan
right. There’s also the feminist movement in, you know, the 1970s, where everybody’s like pro Bernie and Rob burning. And there’s some argument about whether bra burning happened or not. But I think this idea, the stereotype is that feminists and hippies and stuff, they don’t wear bras and love. And then the 80s that kind of came back around again, when everybody was very obsessed with how they looked in the ad. Right. And now, I feel like right now, we’re just like this wild wonderland of bra stuff.

Stephie
hat. It’s Yeah, it is why is sort of like the Wild West because there’s a lot happening with bras, but then there’s a lot, like, I will say, the older and also more like, hippie feminist that I get, the less I give a shit about the bras that I wear. So I also kind of finally understand that, like, stereotypical 70s burn the bra type of feminism.

Unknown Speaker
Right.

Stephie
Right. So but because I started wearing bras when I was 10. Cool. Yeah, I developed real early. I was like a d cup By the time I was in eighth or ninth grade. Oh, man. So Uh huh. Yeah. Um, so I have had a long history of wearing bras and being super self conscious about my boobs. And, like, I just have these very, very vivid memories of just going bra shopping and dreading it because every time I would end up crying because nothing fit, right, and the stuff that fit right was so ugly. And all of my friends had these cute little boobs, and then they got to wear cute little boob bras. And I definitely could not wear any of those. And like, also, like, I hope that we are getting into a better era. And that this is not as much the case anymore. But like, when you and I were in school, like, if your bra strap was showing that was like a, that was like a bad thing in terms of like dress code. And also, there was just so much like, stigma, I guess, around like, having big boobs in a way of like, I because I wore like the super padded bra was because I didn’t want my nipples to show. I was super self conscious about the fact that I had big boobs. Like it was just a whole thing.

Megan
Well, let’s talk about let’s talk about sizing for a minute. So size like aside from that there’s the beat not being able to find cute options is a huge problem to begin with. Partially because we are taught that our boobs are super sexual. Yes. And your underclothes should be super sexy and super cute. And even if you’re not dressing for the attraction of someone else, it’s supposed to make you feel better and blah, blah, blah. Well, there’s just not always possible. Yeah, because the options literally do not exist.

Stephie
They don’t.

Megan
And then the other thing is that even if you have some options, you don’t necessarily know what size you are. Because just like every other piece of woman’s clothing, disc sizing is inconsistent, right? Like, I don’t understand. First of all, I boobs are very weird, because they’re all different shapes and everything. So not like you can necessarily measure it perfectly. But a band size you should be able to measure. And somehow that still doesn’t even work.

Stephie
Right? Like it’s supposed to be just like numbers you just met, right? That’s it.

Megan
Yeah. But then there’s like, the sizing across countries is obviously different. But then even in the United States, there’s like, things called a double A or triple A, which means it’s smaller than n A, but that if you get to a D, or a Double D, a Double D is bigger than a D. Yes. So I’m like, and then to make it even more complicated. There’s like, a Double D, but some brands say that’s an E, yes, a triple de D, some people say that’s an F, and then there’s many other ones like G and H and just gets insane. Uh huh. So like, what, what are you supposed to do?

Stephie
Isn’t? That’s a great question. I am those big sizes. And I still don’t know the answer to that question. Like, because also, so you can go to Victoria’s Secret. And they’re supposedly experts can measure you, and they will absolutely not get the size. Right. And well, first of all,

Megan
let’s just say let’s just point out that there experts are 17 year old high school girls.

Stephie
Yes. Like Absolutely. Our children. They will have also, Victoria’s Secret is not particularly size inclusive.

Megan
No, they never have,

Stephie
they never have been. And so I have never been able, like I was able to buy bras at Victoria’s Secret, like when I was in high school, and like, that’s it. But they still didn’t fit me particularly well. Like I’ve never really been able to shop at Victoria’s Secret for bras. And they pretty much Max out like once you get to a D cup. That’s pretty much where you Max out. They have a few double D’s, but not that many. And again, they’re like not really historically, have not really been like the cute braas. I have always had to, like go to specialty stores or order online to find anything in my size that actually fits there used to be actually, there used to be a store here in town that had that was like incredibly size inclusive. And they had great broads and it was one of those little stores where you walked in. And all the ladies working there were like, in there. They were all between like 50 and 70 years old. And I’ve been doing this for 172 years and could like pretty much look at you and be like, Oh yes, honey, looks like you’re wearing a, you know, a 34 C, but actually you should be wearing a 32 triple D or like whatever it is. And then I just like magically pull the right bra off. That was a magical place. I’m very sad that it closed because it actually was pretty excellent. But like, that’s one of the only times I’ve ever gone to a store and had sizing done. That was actually correct. The all of the other brands that I’ve purchased that were the right size. I did, like extensive research to figure out why my bras weren’t fitting, right. And to figure out what size I was probably supposed to be. Right? Because it’s it it just most people are not just like the standard 34 c that you can buy at Target.

Megan
Right, exactly.

Stephie
I was going to talk talk about the the cup sizing because that’s real weird. So like a 34 C and A 36 C are not the same size. Like you think oh, a C cup. A C cup is the same across 3436 38. No, no, no. Like the volume of the cup changes across the band sizes. So a 34 C is going to be a different volume cup than a 36 C and that’s going to be a different volume cup than a 38 c Row, you actually have to like a 32. d bra cup is going to be the same like volume as a 30, Double D or 30 e, or a 34. c, it’s completely bananas.

Megan
It’s too confusing, I don’t know. Like it, it’s just messed up

Stephie
is completely messed up. So it’s one of those were like, I mean, it is helpful, it is actually helpful to know that because if you do go to a store, and like, if you need something, and they don’t have it in your size, like if I need a 32, triple D, I can sometimes wear a 34 Double D. So I know like if I tried the 32 triple and it doesn’t quite fit or they don’t have it. Sometimes I can wear a 34, double and be fine. So it is helpful to know sometimes, but like, nobody teaches you this information.

Megan
No. And then you’d have to remember like you remember, which of your two sizes like go together. So you have to remember each time like which of those, which is the one that’s the right one that’s supposed to go with it.

Stephie
Yes.

Megan
Yeah, very down, they should just put all the labels, they should put the same label on each, like if you get the you know, the brows all have their own, like 34, c 36, C, blah, blah, blah, but every size that it actually is on the same label.

Stephie
Like, you might also be

Megan
like, please help me something. There’s this website that has been going around recently actually called a bra that fits.org and it shows how you should be measuring yourself. Because most people I think just measure like when you’re standing up. And they measure like across under the boob and like one other thing, and that’s fine. But you’re actually supposed to measure like, six different ways. To measure it loose. You’re supposed to measure comfortably snug, you’re supposed to measure super tight, you’re supposed to measure standing, you’re supposed to measure like halfway bent over so your boobs are hanging down. And then you’re also supposed to do it laying down bluffs. Yeah. And then that all of that together is supposed to help you actually get your good measurement.

Stephie
Truly bananas.

Megan
Yeah. And also, you have to do it while you’re not wearing a bra. I think a lot of people measure themselves while they’re wearing a bra, which is not going to help you whatsoever,

Stephie
right? Yeah, at all. And like once you get the bra on, you’re supposed to get on and then you’re supposed to like, lift and scoop. You’re like, I God help you if you’re on your period. And oh my god, like,

Megan
Girl when I was breastfeeding. My boobs went up like two sizes, like two cups sizes. You know, it was horrible.

Stephie
There’s a lot of benefits to being very infertile.

Megan
I mean, it seems like it would be good. Like at first you’re like, Oh, yeah, look at media, but do you have to buy all new bras? They go up and down during the day. Like, it was not a joyous time, you could not really enjoy them.

Stephie
I just, I was always afraid of what was gonna happen. I got pregnant and like, what was I going to do with my boobs? Like,

Megan
I mean, not everybody gets enormous boobs, but I would have I would definitely did.

Stephie
I just like what I it was one of those. I was like, I already can’t buy bras. I’m not sure that being pregnant would really help this situation. So you know what, for me? I guess being infertile is okay, because I didn’t have to worry about it. So

Megan
I think it’s interesting that you also mentioned when you first started writing prized, you have wore padded ones because you didn’t want anyone to see your nipples, which, first of all understandable when you’re like 12 years old, because boys are horrible. And also grown men are horrible.

Stephie
Yeah. especially girls. Disgusting. Yes. And let’s remember back to our purity culture episode where I grew up in the church were like, massively over sexualized for things that should not have been. Exactly. So first of all, like we’re just talking about breastfeeding. Okay, that’s what the boobs are for breastfeeding.

Megan
Yeah, it doesn’t matter if you’re having kids or not. That’s what they’re there for anatomically. Yes, get over it. Secondly, um, The other thing is that like, I couldn’t literally see guys boob nipples all the time, all the time. And no one cares. No.

Stephie
Like, no, all the time.

Megan
And also like the other thing is, if someone is like you and they already have large boobs, you don’t want to wear any more padding. No, you just want to wear something for support. You don’t need more padding.

Stephie
Yes, this literally just is like just to keep it from flopping around all over the place. Yes. Well, I know for some people with like, smaller boobs, like not wearing a bra is really comfortable for them. A minute was big enough. Not wearing a bra is not necessarily comfortable. Like, they’re just you get the like the chafing underneath or the just too much flopping around. And like, at the end of the day, it’s fine. But like, all the time during the day, it’s just not necessarily

Megan
just comfortable.

Stephie
Yeah, it’s just yeah, so like, yeah, just like a sports bra, or whatever, is a little bit better. That’s literally I I stopped wearing underwires when Eden was born, and then the pandemic hit, and I really just lost all of my Fox. And I have I think I’ve worn an underwire bra maybe twice in the last 18 months.

Unknown Speaker
Yeah, I have

Stephie
all of these underwire bras just like hanging from a hook in my bedroom or, and then more my bathroom. They’ve just been there. neglected. Yes, I just wanna wear like sports bras and like, just like more like comfy like, bra let situations which are also hard to find in my size. But at this point, I just don’t give a shit. I just get whatever. And that’s just how I’ve been rockin my life the last year and a half. Yeah, I don’t care anymore.

Megan
But even sports bras have those stupid pads. They have like the little Birkin circle things that like,

Stephie
yeah, our triangles, like Finally, most of mine away.

Megan
I thought if they have some of the brands that I have some sports bras that I have have the little hole so you can take them out. Because

Unknown Speaker
if you

Megan
every time you wash them, they like get all scrunched up, I put them back in place like

Stephie
ours of my life,

Megan
rearranging this stupid thing, not

Stephie
a pole. So okay, here, here’s the process, you pull the bra out of the laundry, and you go to put it on and you realize, Oh, one of the pads is like folded in half and it’s like shoved in the corner. So then you have to like get it flattened back out and back in the middle where it’s supposed to be. And then you realize, Oh, shit, the other one is just missing entirely. It’s just gone. It’s just gone. So then you have to dig through the laundry, because you’re me and you haven’t bothered fold your laundry. And you’re pulling it straight out of the dryer, and you dig, you dig and you dig and you dig and maybe you find it, maybe you don’t maybe the dryer ate it, maybe it’s in the land where all of the missing socks go. Like, and then if you do find it, then you’d have to get it back in and in place. And then you get the bra and then you got to get them rearranged once it’s on you. Honestly, hours, hours of my life. I’ve lost to this. And so when I threw all my flux out the window, I also threw away all of the sports bra pads that I could pull out.

Megan
I think I have most of mine out now as well. I think I have a few swimsuits maybe that still have them in because I haven’t like gone swimming or anything. So they’re kind of hanging out. But I just don’t like I don’t know, like working out. I definitely don’t care but go into the pool. Like, we’re basically all in our underwear anyway. Like, what does it matter?

Stephie
I just, I maybe it’s because we’re like old buried ladies. And so we’re just like, whatever. But also, I don’t know, I feel like I’d kind I would be like this. If I were not married to I don’t know, I just I can’t care anymore.

Megan
I just don’t have time for it anymore. I think I’m just tired of all I’m just tired of all of it. The other thing I just have so many things about brands that I work with don’t complain about but so the fact that you mentioned you know It was a big deal if your bra strap would show. I had a boss actually. And she was a woman who was like, Oh, I just, it just really grates on my nerves. I see bra straps hanging out of people’s shirts. And I’m like, What is wrong with you? Who cares? But so you’re shamed for like wearing a bra? Yes. And then you’re also shamed for not wearing a bra. Yeah. And you’re shamed if you have small boobs, and you’re shamed if you have big boobs, but also they promote products to have the small boob people get big boobs. Yes, like, like the fucking wonder bra, or like the water one. And like the mega crazy push up ones,

Stephie
like what? What are we doing it

Megan
so mad. Also,

Stephie
another thing about big boo braas is that larger braas come with larger straps. So like as a teenager, I also could just never wear like spaghetti strap anything. Because I didn’t have spaghetti strap size bra straps. They were always like these big thick straps because they had to hold up my boulders or boobs. So it was I, I mean, I still, when I like shop for clothes. I have basically trained my brain to just completely ignore anything that has spaghetti straps.

Megan
Like mean they just dig into your shoulder anyway,

Stephie
they do tend to just dig into your shoulder anyway, but like I there’s like entire just sections of clothing that my brain just doesn’t even register as being an option for me ever. Because in my mind, I still I like oh well I have to wear. I can’t not wear a bra. And my bra is definitely gonna like look stupid under that because it’s got a thicker strap than whatever the spaghetti strap is. Right? I yeah, I still just like what I just completely don’t even know

Megan
I need to get like a strapless one. And no never fit.

Stephie
Oh, is there anything worse than a strapless bra? In the summer? Oh god. No. And you’re like sweaty. And it’s like fallen down and you’re trying to like pull that’s I talked about the like leather the like Ross Geller leather pants moment. That is like the even worse thing. You’re like your your strapless bra is like basically around your belly button and you’re like sweaty and you’re trying to get it back up. While you’re like in this dress. It’s the worst. It’s the worst. Yeah.

Megan
Those are all the times where I’m like, Can I get away with not wearing a bra? Is this dress tight enough that I could just not? And then I never do it and I always have regrets. Like, which could be which would be worse here. Like which situation honestly.

Stephie
Yeah, I have I have absolutely like gotten I I’ve never done it while I’m still at an event. But I’ve definitely like gotten in the car. Like literally, like gotten in the car to go home. You close the door to the car before I’ve even put my seatbelt on. I have taken my strapless bra off. And like thrown it on the on the floor of the car like now, this thing.

Megan
We’ll burn them later.

Stephie
Honestly, I have I have a number that we could probably use to start fire because it’s just they’re so bad. so bad.

Megan
So in the last, I want to say five years, maybe a little bit before that. There. I feel like there’s been this like huge surge of online bra stores.

Stephie
Mm hmm.

Megan
So just the ones that I know of I’m sure there’s more there’s third love. There’s lively there’s a door me there’s Nicks. There’s Richard pour. There’s true in CO I’m sure there are more. And they’re all First of all, they all promise that they can cater to large sizes. Uh huh. Which is not true. First of all, like maybe larger or larger than Victoria’s Secret which is Yeah, not a huge stretch, right but like you’re not going to be by your size eight Browse at these websites for them no most part I will preface that by saying I have not looked at every single one of these websites. But when I had looked at them before, other ones before, like, they didn’t necessarily cater to larger people, and that’s not even, like, it’s not an issue for me for braas. But I would like to be able to recommend stores to other people. Right. And I, I get that there are issues around creating clothes for people with bigger boobs is the whole like fabric thing and the cost ratio and blah, blah, blah,

Stephie
but like

Megan
if you’re if you’re saying you’re doing it then actually do it.

Stephie
Yes. Yeah, it is. Absolutely. I actually I’m trying to remember the some of the best like plus size plus size bras larger size braas that I have had actually came from like UK, like lingerie. shops. Yeah, and like they definitely had like cute stuff and stuff like that was in the like larger sizes. But which I actually discovered those when I did the boudoir shoot with Cory we had on a few weeks ago. Like she has a list of stores. Like when you do your consult with her, like she’ll, she’ll say like, okay, but what size are you and then she’ll send you shops that have stuff, like in your size, which was really great. I definitely discovered a few folks, a few places that I had never shopped from. But yeah, most of those, like we’re gonna solve all your bra problems shops are full of shit. There. Yeah,

Megan
a lot of them. They’re the like, what they’re promising is like, Oh, well, we have more sizes, which like they might have, they might start to be somebody who’s like saying that we carry size II but we just talked about how size he is, like, might be the same as another size. So is it really carrying more sizes? Or are you just like recognizing the whole labeling issue? Right? I do you think a lot of them, they’re somewhat more comfortable than ones I have gotten at like Victoria’s Secret or target. But I will say that one of the ones I got at one of those stores is the one that stabbed me the other day

Stephie
said to

Megan
you it is just me and also like I got so I got like five bras from this place and like the elastic just did not hold up on like any of them

Stephie
yeah, that’s the worst when the elastic starts to crap out and like you put it on the the smallest like hook size and it’s still like is writing it by the end of the day or like

Megan
yeah, and it was like not just that but it was like you could see how like it was it was framed in a way and I like how elastic elastic phrase in a specific way and I can describe it but I’m sure everyone listening kind of understand. Yes. And phrase in a certain way and they all kind of like frayed in the band. I was like, okay, like I don’t necessarily hand wash all of my brows but also it’s not like they’ve been in the washing machine at 500 times

Stephie
I wash my brows like once a year okay, I may Okay, it’s that’s an exaggeration. I I do not wash my bras very often. My sports bras and stuff like now that I whatever. But like, most of the time I wash them when I’m like, huh? It’s kind of stinks to wash this bra. Like the worst. It’s like jeans I’m like oh I guess I should wash my jeans after I’ve worn them for two weeks in a row.

Megan
Well jeans I parent you’re not really supposed to watch but bras I feel like you are

Stephie
supposed to but I’ve always been terrible about it because I’m disgusting.

Megan
I’ve heard some people say that you’re only supposed to wear a bra once and wash it which is just not

Stephie
that is ridiculous. Absolutely not going to happen.

Megan
Maybe like a sports bra washed because I sweat a lot,

Stephie
right? Especially if you’re like especially if you’re wearing it to work out and you’re not like me and you just wear them to it. in your everyday life, like I will write once or twice. If I’m working out it’s once and then it’s going in the wash. But like, if I’m just like wearing it whatever aware in a couple days and wash it, but also like, okay for social work once and then wash it that basically means you have to have like seven bras and they’re expensive. Can we talk about that? Can we talk about how fucking expensive decent bra? Like,

Megan
okay, even not, I

Stephie
mean, even not decent ones, like, the ones are expensive, the not decent ones are definitely going to fall apart faster than the more expensive ones. But the more expensive ones can run you like $70? Yeah, seven zero people. Yeah. Yeah. Like, that’s, that’s expensive.

Megan
Try to remember how much I paid for nursing braas. Oh, my God, I don’t even want to know. Because Yeah, like the good ones, because you want to have like a good one has to be comfortable and blah, blah, blah. Like they start at like $40. It’s ridiculous. Unless you get like, the really cheap like, hanging out in your bed ones, which also, I approve up. Right. But yeah, there just is not a lot of fabric. And like, I’ve realized that we’ve been through hundreds of years of technology, technological improvements, but also so have T shirts.

Stephie
And also, have we really, are they that much better than they were in the 40s? Like, I’m not totally convinced.

Megan
I really not. I do think it’s interesting, though, that in this past year for sure, like. So it’s been a year and a half. And it has been like quite the year and a half, because so much I think has shifted in so many ways, across a lot of things. But one of the things, which is this was not just limited to the past year and a half, but the panorama, like put it in focus. But recently, there has been more of a relief for women’s bodies. It’s been more of a refocus on people’s health, and their well being and less about the male gaze. And what women are getting from men and how they look. And all of this, and I really appreciate that. Yes. And I think that then the pandemic, and then everyone’s just like, we’re just all all in on cozy now.

Stephie
Yes.

Megan
Like, we’re just super into cozy. And like you said, like we’re getting rid of underwires wearing sports bras, which are also sometimes kind of awful, because you like, rip your shoulder try and take the damage. But like, we’re like bandos, like, just practically just wearing tank tops. Like we just want to be comfortable because now we don’t care anymore. And I think I almost like there’s one thing, it’s you and I are very old. And we’re just like, tired of it. We’ve been wearing broads for a billion years. And we’re over it. But also I think like Gen Z has been like we were making fun of Oh, the fiscal girls. Yes, you know, last year, but also, I think those are the girls who were just like, I don’t care about wearing fancy brows anymore.

Stephie
Honestly, yeah, you know what, and no, you know, your sweat pants, I don’t care where it let’s do it. Let’s be cute. Let’s wear sweat pants, Let’s wear tank tops, let’s it’s whatever. I you know, like okay, now if you if you want to wear the padded, you know, the padded bras, the all the cue, whatever the underwires. Like if you really want to wear those, go for it. Like if you genuinely feel more comfortable in those all power to you. I probably would have said the same thing. I was probably like, I’m just more comfortable in these before I really like stopped and then was able to really recognize why I thought I was more comfortable in them and that was the male gaze. And I’m like no, I just, I am here for this. You know what? I don’t need to be living up to anyone’s particular expectations. And especially with my boobs. Amen. I just tell Yeah.

Megan
And yeah, like, I still have, you know, super fancy underwire padded bla bla bla bla bla and like, I’ll pull it out if I want to, like, feel fancy or whatever. Like, they’re still nice braas but also, like, I don’t feel like I definitely don’t feel like I need to put on fancy bras for my husband. Right First of all, he’s already married to me.

Stephie
He’s already sexy duck with you.

Megan
Secondly, your bra is under your shirt. Yeah, not gonna get seen. Thirdly, he really could care less what I’m wearing. Yeah. And generally, the less I am wearing, the better. Right, like, Uh huh. Correct. They don’t, they don’t actually care that much.

Stephie
bra, like they really don’t. I can wear a bra so many times before my husband will be like, sudden new bra.

Megan
Probably literally never notice unless I was like parading around in it. He would not at all.

Stephie
And usually, he only noticed is like, two seconds before ends up on the floor. Anyway, so right? What was the purpose?

Megan
Right?

Stephie
Like, if it genuinely makes you feel good, and it genuinely makes you feel sexier, then go for it, where it power to you like I am all for that. And like, there are definitely moments like that for me. But I don’t feel like we need to be making that like our priority day to day just because we think that that’s what we should be doing.

Megan
Exactly. I’ll tell you what has been unexpectedly making me feel very good. In terms of that department. Yes. So I’ve been seeing this company advertised on Instagram and a bunch of people that I know we’re tagging them. And I was like, Oh, that’s kind of cute. They look comfy. But there’s they don’t have like that many styles. So I don’t know, I don’t know if I want to spend the money because it’s they’re kind of expensive. So I’ll wait. And then I realized we were doing this episode. I should order some. So I can wear it to be able to talk about it on this episode. And luckily, my package arrived yesterday. Oh,

Stephie
good timing.

Megan
So today I am wearing a bra and underpants from arc AR Q and their website is shop arc.com. Okay. But so they have like two different kinds of bras and then like a crop tank top, a leotard and like a high waisted underpants.

Stephie
I love the high waisted undie. Okay, so

Megan
first of all, I did not I, I for sure thought a high waisted underwear was not going to comfortable. Not going to be cute. Not going to be sexy at all. I feel so good at it.

Stephie
I love it. I

Megan
had a I have a few pairs of high waisted undies from me undies, and I love them. I adore them. They’re so soft and just really comfortable. And like, it doesn’t bother me that they’re high waisted because I’m also wearing high waisted pants, right. So it’s not like they’re peeking out or anything and even if they were I probably wouldn’t care because let’s also mention the thing. We’re talking about nipples. It’s the same thing as like people getting all worked up about seeing a panty line. Right? You know what? Yeah, I’m fucking wearing underwear.

Stephie
I got undies on. Okay,

Megan
I’m fine that you know that I am wearing underwear. Because I would rather know that you’re wearing underwear. Then think that maybe you’re not.

Stephie
Like, like, why

Megan
is this a problem?

Stephie
at all right? why don’t why is this even a discussion? Like why are we stressed about it, y’all? Oh, I love the colors of all of these

Megan
there. Yeah, that’s where I Was Your Man was all the colors. But also, if women’s pants weren’t so stupid, no one would worry about underwear because you wouldn’t be able to see it. This is unlike men’s pants, which somehow magically never show underpants.

Stephie
Yes. Like

Megan
that’s a whole nother Another day we will talk about underwear in general. But I was just really surprised I’ve been wearing the underpants and bra not the it’s the wide strap bra not the newer one. All day long and they’re very comfy and wire free. And they’re very soft. And I’ve heard that once you start like wearing them and washing them and stuff, they get softer. Uh huh. So I’m very excited about the whole situation. And I got one of the cute like Calico prints tank tops.

Stephie
I was just looking at that. That’s very cute.

Megan
They also have toddler sizes. Oh my god.

Stephie
No, I just oh my god. That’s so cute.

Megan
They’re so cute. Um, yeah. So I’ve been pretty happy with that. I’m glad they’re like, I know it’s not. They’re not a fancy design or anything like that. And they are kind of expensive, but they’re like, high quality they last a long time. Made of good fabrics and things like that. So I feel like it falls along the line of like, sustainable clothing situation. Yeah, for sure. That you Yeah, so I think there’s some other options out there. I think somersault which generally makes is known for making swimsuits. I think they’re also making comfy braas. And then I’ve heard that also everlane is also making comfy bras.

Stephie
I love that.

Megan
I also really appreciate arq because they are definitely size inclusive. And all of their promotional stuff. They have many, many sizes shown.

Stephie
Yeah, I’m loving the models and the like. No, there’s no retouching on these models like their real bodies. Yeah. Tons of diversity here. I’m super into it.

Megan
Yeah, I really liked I really liked the company a lot. So

Stephie
yeah, I mean, some so it’s actually very surprising to me that I have not been getting any ads for them because usually you and I get ads to very similar things. So I

Megan
think it’s just because I hadn’t mentioned it to you before. So now that we’ve been talking about it, I see it in the website. It’ll be everywhere.

Stephie
Yeah, I’ll see it everywhere. It’s fine. No, this is this is adorable. I love this. We’ll link this in in the show notes as well. This is definitely worth checking out.

Megan
We have anything else we’d like to complain about with bras.

Stephie
I don’t think so. I actually I feel like you just you just saved us right into our joy for the week.

Megan
Excellence.

What’s bringing us joy?

Stephie
I love joy. I love I love joy is anything besides you’re really cute and comfy undies, bringing you joy this week?

Megan
yes actually because I pre ordered myself a book like a few months ago and I forgot about it. I did arrive today.

Stephie
I love it when that happens. It was so great.

Megan
I was so happy what book. It was Nadia bakes

Stephie
Oh my gosh. Well that is fantastic. I will be flipping through it next time I am at your house I get to borrow steal it slash borrow it forever like my husband has done with your eyes.

Megan
I have many books that I do not look at almost ever but I opened it up and I started reading it the very first recipe I want to make so oh my gosh good sign.

Stephie
Love it. Love that so much. What is bringing you joy? Right before we started recording Alex had gone out to the garden and water it and you know check on our tomatoes and stuff. And he brought in a tomato I actually think a bunny rabbit had taken a bite out of it. So he brought it in rescued it and just like cut off the section that the bunny rabbit had taken a bite off of because the rest of it was perfectly fine and then eaten eaten and I proceeded to take turns taking bites out of it like an apple and just like sharing it back and forth which is low key. A parents hate robot I’ve been like really looking forward to like I just love fresh summer tomatoes like when they’re specially when they’re straight from the garden. They’re still warm from the sun. Like that is the best tomato is the one that is straight from the garden. Still a little warm. Oh, so perfect. And so like just sharing that moment with her as she was so into it. Like she kept she would take a big bite out. She’s like get really excited and want another bite. It was so delightful. I have

Megan
not progressed to the point in which I can just take bites of tomato like apples, but I’m getting maybe getting close.

Stephie
We’ll see. I’ve been doing that since I was a kid. So

Megan
yeah, it’s not my parents used to do that, where they would just like get the tomatoes from the garden and slice it and then put salt on it and just eat it. I was like, What are you do it?

Stephie
No, that’s the best. I have a very poignant memory of my cousins and I, at my grandmother’s house, she used to have this huge garden and I just had this very poignant memory of us, like one summer, just like laying in the grass next to the garden, just like stuffing our faces full of tomatoes, plants. And like it was, it’s just like one of my favorite, like growing up memories. So I just I just love tomatoes so much. You are

Megan
full of lycopene.

Stephie
I am Scott tenza like a pain. So that’s what’s bringing me joy today.

Megan
That is lovely. Maybe you can win an Olympic medal in tomato eating.

Next week’s episode

Stephie
Oh, you know what, maybe we should talk about that next week and see if that could be a possibility. Weirdly, we

Megan
already have a friend I lined up to talk about the Olympics.

Stephie
That’s right guys. We are bringing back our friend Ade. She is an expert in many, many things. And one of them is the Olympics. She’s gonna come and talk to us about him. So in the meantime, leave us a review on Apple podcasts and listen to us on your favorite platform. You can also follow us on social media at irsipodcast or send us an email at idratherstayinpodcast@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from our listeners. Bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai